My cousin Amanda
I love my cousin Amanda. She is comfortable to be with. She is wise, funny, and human. There are a lot of layers to her.
We have been slowly cultivating a friendship over our lifetimes. My first memory having to do with Amanda involves her wedding. I was ten years old. Her mom was in charge of the guest list. She decided it would be nice not to have children at the wedding. This was unusual in our circles. Weddings, in my mind, were times to get dressed up, eat lots of cheese curds, crunch down as many sugar cubes as possible, and play with my cousins.
I was angry for many years. Myself and the other young cousins plotted for years about not inviting Amanda, her mother, and other related beings to our weddings.
I got over it. I grew up. I told Amanda about it. She was shocked. Had no idea we'd been excluded. Had no idea we were so upset by it.
Over the years, I've always looked forward to seeing Amanda at the twice-a-year extended family gatherings. She and her husband always make their rounds, and talk to all of us.
Then one Christmas gathering 4 years ago, we decided it would be fun to have a grown-up sleepover with the "girl" cousins. It happened. We talked and talked and talked. Much of the talking was "under the dome." People needed to know they were safe. We all got to know each other and our families just a little better. The age gaps continued to disappear. The sleepover has been an annual event.
One year Amanda said something about looking forward to seeing me at the cousin sleepover - said it just wouldn't be right if I wasn't there. What?! Me?! I felt honored and glad to hear there was reciprocity.
I just got back from an evening at Amanda's house. This is my idea of a great Saturday night. A few glasses of great wine, an Ethiopian dinner, good conversation, celebration of friendship.
Family. A friend in the family. It's all good.
We have been slowly cultivating a friendship over our lifetimes. My first memory having to do with Amanda involves her wedding. I was ten years old. Her mom was in charge of the guest list. She decided it would be nice not to have children at the wedding. This was unusual in our circles. Weddings, in my mind, were times to get dressed up, eat lots of cheese curds, crunch down as many sugar cubes as possible, and play with my cousins.
I was angry for many years. Myself and the other young cousins plotted for years about not inviting Amanda, her mother, and other related beings to our weddings.
I got over it. I grew up. I told Amanda about it. She was shocked. Had no idea we'd been excluded. Had no idea we were so upset by it.
Over the years, I've always looked forward to seeing Amanda at the twice-a-year extended family gatherings. She and her husband always make their rounds, and talk to all of us.
Then one Christmas gathering 4 years ago, we decided it would be fun to have a grown-up sleepover with the "girl" cousins. It happened. We talked and talked and talked. Much of the talking was "under the dome." People needed to know they were safe. We all got to know each other and our families just a little better. The age gaps continued to disappear. The sleepover has been an annual event.
One year Amanda said something about looking forward to seeing me at the cousin sleepover - said it just wouldn't be right if I wasn't there. What?! Me?! I felt honored and glad to hear there was reciprocity.
I just got back from an evening at Amanda's house. This is my idea of a great Saturday night. A few glasses of great wine, an Ethiopian dinner, good conversation, celebration of friendship.
Family. A friend in the family. It's all good.
posted by Carlotti at 8:49 PM
2 Comments:
Amanda is one of the best. I fantasize about moving to Winnipeg and spending lots of time with her and her husband. She's real, funny, intelligent, artistic, beautiful......and my cousin too! Wow Laura
I agree, Laura. But how did a dark-eyed, dark-haired beauty like Amanda end up related to all of us sandy-haired types? And, Carol, about the wedding: I have a distinct memory of attending the reception, which Amanda's parents held in their yard. I can't confirm whether or not cheese curds made up part of the menu, which makes me wonder if I hallucinated the entire episode as compensation. Can other cousins help out here? Didn't we run wild on that wide expanse of lawn while Amanda and Mick cut the cake?
Grace
Post a Comment
<< Home