The Dinner Party
Today's Globe and Mail dedicates its entire Entertaining section to advice on how to throw the perfect dinner party. Oh dear oh dear. This is just too perfect fodder for a cynical sarcastic soul like me. Cannot pass this opportunity up. Between feeling nauseous looking at the pictures and imagining the pain of the cocktail hour followed by hours of conversation that I may or may not have energy or interest for, I cackled inwardly at my own special version of a party and how THAT might go over for the haute couture crowd.
The newspaper section begins with something like:
Want in on the sexiest soiree of the season? Want to meet the hautest host? Our columnist and photographer crash the party of art maven "someone very important" to get the inside dish on everything from the guest list to the playlist, the flowers to the food. With the the "right" recipes, "right" wines, and "right" fashion tips - plus a full Web package - you'll have all the ingredients to make your own dinner party pop.
This is followed by pages and pages of pictures and advice. The next-to-last page has the five "top tips."
1. Mix it up. Mulim, Jew, young and not so young, art and commerce, - stimulating and interesting people have common ground. Seating people is an art: Think through well in advance who might enjoy whom and how they'll interact, and you'll have a great table.
My version: Decide 4 days before birthday that it's high time to celebrate being 40-something. Fire off emails to everyone you know. Post an open invite on your blog, just in case someone else might be interested. Hope that the "right" number show up, because your house really isn't that big.
2. Have a schedule. People need to be led. In your head, have a plan and envision how the evening should unfold: when drinks are over, when everybody should be seated and when each course should be served. A laissez-faire attitude only makes your guests nervous.
My version: Have a hazy idea of when to start. Tell people they can bring food if they want to. Buy enough plastic cups to make sure they can access the beverages. Go out a few hours before the party to buy the beverages. Drink lots of coffee all day so you can remain conscious past 9:00 p.m.
3. Create an atmosphere. Think candles, flowers, appropriate seating and serving arrangements. You may need to move - or even remove - furniture to make your rooms more comfortable. Set the music at the right level with the right tone for each moment and design it to progress with the action.
My version: Make a sign with scrap paper and a crayon that invites kids to hang out on the third floor, but keep the food downstairs. Thank people who show up with candles and flowers. Find a place to put them. Wonder if people care whether or not there is a place to sit. Hope the plywood under the cushions of the sagging couches doesn't choose tonight to break. Put a CD on at 5:00 p.m. Play it 3 or 4 times, then realize hours later that there's been no music at all for quite a long time.
4. Keep food simple. If you don't work with a caterer, plan a menu that can be prepared well in advance. "I don't like parties where the hostess thinks they should be in the kitchen," important person says. And share the credit: "When you entertain as regularly as I do for business, what you find is that if you have a group of trusted pros you can rely on, then you are able to do your real job, which is being the host." Simple fresh uncomplicated dishes are best, and presentation is key.
My version: Make it a potluck. Do everything in the kitchen, since it is part of your living room/dining room/main room. Buy a barbeque the night before. Grab a guest who looks like they might have barbequeing skills, and put them in charge of charring the char on the cedar planks. Ignore the advice on the cedar planks, and decide that your cedar planks are NOT going to burst into flame, so the spritzer bottle is unneccesary.
5. Cultivate graciousness. As a host, it's you who is responsible for connecting people. Ease the conversation along, particularly if your guests are introverts or meeting each other for the first time. This is almost as important as putting together the right mix of people. Consider the food preferences and allergies of your guests and if they are smokers, set up a comfortable area for them outside (in winter, consider renting heaters.) Most of all, smile, enjoy - have fun! It's a party, after all.
My version: As an introvert, I hope people will find each other and talk about interesting stuff so I can join in. While they do this, run around your house checking disorganized Rubbermaid bins to find the spritzer (the cedar planks are on fire.) Pour yourself some more wine. Put it down. Wonder where it is. Pour some more. Rely on your more together friends to keep track of your wine glass. Go outside to check on the charring of the char. Discover that there is lively conversation among the smokers, who are sitting on the front steps. Stay for a while.
Most of all, have a great time and wonder who'll show up next year if it happens again. Decide that a procrastinator's 40th birthday party would make a great annual event.
The newspaper section begins with something like:
Want in on the sexiest soiree of the season? Want to meet the hautest host? Our columnist and photographer crash the party of art maven "someone very important" to get the inside dish on everything from the guest list to the playlist, the flowers to the food. With the the "right" recipes, "right" wines, and "right" fashion tips - plus a full Web package - you'll have all the ingredients to make your own dinner party pop.
This is followed by pages and pages of pictures and advice. The next-to-last page has the five "top tips."
1. Mix it up. Mulim, Jew, young and not so young, art and commerce, - stimulating and interesting people have common ground. Seating people is an art: Think through well in advance who might enjoy whom and how they'll interact, and you'll have a great table.
My version: Decide 4 days before birthday that it's high time to celebrate being 40-something. Fire off emails to everyone you know. Post an open invite on your blog, just in case someone else might be interested. Hope that the "right" number show up, because your house really isn't that big.
2. Have a schedule. People need to be led. In your head, have a plan and envision how the evening should unfold: when drinks are over, when everybody should be seated and when each course should be served. A laissez-faire attitude only makes your guests nervous.
My version: Have a hazy idea of when to start. Tell people they can bring food if they want to. Buy enough plastic cups to make sure they can access the beverages. Go out a few hours before the party to buy the beverages. Drink lots of coffee all day so you can remain conscious past 9:00 p.m.
3. Create an atmosphere. Think candles, flowers, appropriate seating and serving arrangements. You may need to move - or even remove - furniture to make your rooms more comfortable. Set the music at the right level with the right tone for each moment and design it to progress with the action.
My version: Make a sign with scrap paper and a crayon that invites kids to hang out on the third floor, but keep the food downstairs. Thank people who show up with candles and flowers. Find a place to put them. Wonder if people care whether or not there is a place to sit. Hope the plywood under the cushions of the sagging couches doesn't choose tonight to break. Put a CD on at 5:00 p.m. Play it 3 or 4 times, then realize hours later that there's been no music at all for quite a long time.
4. Keep food simple. If you don't work with a caterer, plan a menu that can be prepared well in advance. "I don't like parties where the hostess thinks they should be in the kitchen," important person says. And share the credit: "When you entertain as regularly as I do for business, what you find is that if you have a group of trusted pros you can rely on, then you are able to do your real job, which is being the host." Simple fresh uncomplicated dishes are best, and presentation is key.
My version: Make it a potluck. Do everything in the kitchen, since it is part of your living room/dining room/main room. Buy a barbeque the night before. Grab a guest who looks like they might have barbequeing skills, and put them in charge of charring the char on the cedar planks. Ignore the advice on the cedar planks, and decide that your cedar planks are NOT going to burst into flame, so the spritzer bottle is unneccesary.
5. Cultivate graciousness. As a host, it's you who is responsible for connecting people. Ease the conversation along, particularly if your guests are introverts or meeting each other for the first time. This is almost as important as putting together the right mix of people. Consider the food preferences and allergies of your guests and if they are smokers, set up a comfortable area for them outside (in winter, consider renting heaters.) Most of all, smile, enjoy - have fun! It's a party, after all.
My version: As an introvert, I hope people will find each other and talk about interesting stuff so I can join in. While they do this, run around your house checking disorganized Rubbermaid bins to find the spritzer (the cedar planks are on fire.) Pour yourself some more wine. Put it down. Wonder where it is. Pour some more. Rely on your more together friends to keep track of your wine glass. Go outside to check on the charring of the char. Discover that there is lively conversation among the smokers, who are sitting on the front steps. Stay for a while.
Most of all, have a great time and wonder who'll show up next year if it happens again. Decide that a procrastinator's 40th birthday party would make a great annual event.
posted by Carlotti at 6:59 AM
4 Comments:
Sooky Carol. My post today has SO much to do with yours.
We seem to be of like mind...FOR ONCE.
Great post, lady.
That was supposed to say "Spooky"
Maybe he meant to say "smokey".
Fabulous party.
fabulous post.
Hey! How did you find my party-planning manual from that distance? I'm getting so lazy that I even forget to plan the party now.
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